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Absence.

I haven’t written much lately — neither here, nor in my notebooks, nor in the long emails I typically spend hours every week or two composing to friends scattered at schools all over or on my own campus. I realized a week or two ago that my relative silence has coincided with the move from a slidey-keyboard to an iPhone, and that realization disgusted me. It’s good, though, to have a reason and explanation. And I’ve started writing again in the past week or three, too, and that’s so, so good.

Over college I’ve learned so much and found so many new things to learn. I follow blogs on photography, American-made goods, and CSA cooking — how “lifestyle” of me. I began drinking coffee, became obsessed with that, and began working at one of the best coffee shops in Philadelphia. I’ve amassed stacks of books on worship and liturgy, organized programs on it, and composed tens of services. I took one class on the Arab-Israeli conflict, shamed by my ignorance, and sank into a world of interviews, films, seminars, questions, books, articles, classes, and sleepless questions. There are thousands of new thoughts and questions crowding my brain.

I haven’t been writing in part because I’m overwhelmed by all these new components of my life: it’s strange to jump from meditations on Kelly Drive to these large and sometimes-bourgeoise passions.

I think I have some ideas of where I’m heading, though, and I’m excited about it. It is a really thrilling thing in life to love what you love, to see something mattering, and to know — you are small but this could be good.

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